Make it weird.
“There’s a stranger out there who remembers you because you made it weird.”
Weird often is associated with being off, being awkward, nerdy, and abnormal. Out of all the compliments you could pay a person, “weird,” typically, does not spin to the top of the list.
But what if we change our view of “weird?”
Weird can equal good. How?
You made it weird (good) because you amused them.
The healing power of laughter.
It’s not uncommon for cancer patients to watch comedies as part of the healing regimen. I did in my experience of the dreadful disease. Laughter supports the immune system, aids in depression, and overall, wellbeing.
“A merry heart does good, like medicine...”
Proverbs. 17:22
Yep.
And, with the Navajo community, it’s widely regarded that a baby’s first laugh is sacred. The person who brings about that first laugh, therefore, has the honor of preparing a whole feast and celebration for the child. A baby’s first laugh appears to be synonymous with joining the family, the Navajo community, at large.
It’s a big deal.
Laughter is huge.
And there is also a connection between laughter and learning. It’s easier to learn, seemingly, anything, via laughter. The humor, the amusement appears to make the new information of a lesson “stick.” People can be more likely to retain new information if it’s associated with something humorous.
We relax when we laugh. Pain lessens. We drop our guard.
We have the natural, knee-jerk response of laughter, because of the unexpected. We think something will go one way, and then it veers off into another direction. It can be “inappropriate,” contrary, defiant, risqué, or ridiculous.
It just does not fit with our expectations.
And so, laughter.
Joy. Levity. Medicinal laughter.
So, if, by our “weirdness,” we help to not just amuse someone, but heal and teach them as well, how significant is that?
You made it weird (good) because you educated them.
Yes, we can use “weirdness” as a teaching opportunity.
“Weird” can be intriguing; it can pique curiosity.
And human beings are curious creatures.
New, incoming information.
For instance, did you know that a cat’s eyes dilate when they hiccup?
Yeah. New information there.
However, many of us have negative associations with new information.
How many of us hated certain subjects in school because they were “boring?”
(I’m still recovering from Algebra).
But what if popular culture, sci-fi, and strange trivia were integrated into the lessons taught in those classrooms?
Taylor Swift, Beyonce, TikTok, and Netflix could all be referenced, just to help the kids learn lessons better and quicker. We retain what we deem to be important, interesting, and helpful. It’s part of the reason, back as my teenaged self, I learned that a slip-on pencil eraser, in a pinch, could secure my earring when I lost its backing. That lesson saved many accessories. (It still didn’t help with Algebra, but a teenage girl and her accessories were not to be messed with).
Beyond the classrooms, we are lifelong learners… if we choose to be.
Something strange, something gross, even, can work to teach and cement new information about anything and everything.
I encountered this firsthand. My cancer diagnosis and treatment of it had my body experiencing weird, a-typical reactions, including a strange dark dot showing up on my chin during my course of radiation. I shared my fears about turning into Mike Tysons face tattoo with my radiation nurse. She assured me it can be a response to stress, and that, “in time, it will fade.”
And it did. No unwanted face tattoos for me ever since then.
My cancer experiences, involving surgery, radiation, and recovery have given me plenty of “new normal” body changes.
By sharing information with others who have gone through like situations such as mine, comparing notes, we can quickly learn, and benefit from, how the “weird” is not the worst-case scenario. It’s more often the strange form of a new normal. And that helps to lessen our fears and anxiety levels, as well as arming us with newer tools, effective in dealing with the changes we’re going through.
Part of doing that may include us embarking on the TMI, the oversharing of weird and uncomfortable stuff.
Indeed, if you and I look, sound, act, and present ourselves as “weird,” what impact can we make? It has far-reaching results.
It sticks in our minds. It changes our viewpoint.
It’s not to be underestimated.
You made it weird (good) because you challenged them.
Anti- status quo.
Change often comes after a challenge arrives. A challenge to a belief system, a way of doing things, a way of showing up in life.
Challenge does that. And “weird” is often the vehicle.
For instance, “weird” can show up as the utilization of the word, “no.”
“No” is challenging. It can feel awkward and antisocial. It can throw people off, because perhaps, they are not expecting that from us. Maybe they are not familiar with our “no.” So, now, when it comes flying out of our mouths, they can only perceive it as “weird.”
“No” is a complete sentence. It’s valid. It’s not asking to be challenged or talked out of.
And the very fact that some people may only see it as “weird” may, indeed, be a teachable moment.
Now, it’s not on us to be everyone else’s teacher, especially if they are dysfunctional. However, someone learning a lesson may be a byproduct of “weird.” It’s not our responsibility to make someone learn anything.
But if they do…
We left an impression with the challenge opportunity.
There is such value in that.
“Weird” is what we make it.
Tap into it. Tap into our unique, “inner-weird.”
And then let it manifest itself.
It is often the unusual that is remembered, that stands out.
“There’s a stranger out there who remembers you and I because we made it weird.”
Perhaps, the most important “someone” who remembers our weirdness is us.
Were we true to ourselves?
Cliché, but universal. Timeless. Empowering. Healing.
“Weird” does that. Let’s live weird, then.
Copyright © 2024 by Sheryle Cruse
Making More Spit
When my uncle was a child, he had a bad habit of spitting on everyone. My grandmother, of course, punished him for this behavior, placing him in a corner to think about his actions. He sat there, with this strange look on his face. When my grandmother asked him what he was doing, he replied, “I’m making more spit!”
It’s a funny anecdote, but there’s some practical truth in it. Life requires endurance; no one escapes that reality. And that can be especially significant with the challenge of recovery- from whatever in life.
Endurance’s definition includes the following:
“The ability to bear prolonged hardship: the ability or power to bear prolonged exertion, pain, toleration of prolonged suffering or hardship; the survival or persistence of something despite the ravages of time.”
Yep, that about covers it.
And what often goes hand in hand with endurance is that wonderful little principle, patience.
“In your patience possess ye your souls.”
Luke 21:19
Oh, Goody! Practicing patience is such a fun pastime! It’s probably why there is frequent mention of it in scripture:
“For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise.”
Hebrews 10:36
“Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;”
Romans 12:12
And it can be applied to each of the famous twelve steps:
First we have to admit we are a mess; we need help. However, by doing that, things aren’t automatically “fixed.” This is the start of the healing process; therefore, apply patience here.
Next, comes God, learning Who He is, how much He loves us and wants to help us. This also is not an instantaneous situation. Process, process, process! More patience application as we, individually and personally, discover just what relationship with Him looks like. It’s often not pretty.
Free will is a challenge, especially when we are asked to turn it over to this High Power God. We like to control things; we like to run our own lives. But that’s usually what got us in trouble in the first place. As we consider and act out this scary principle, a lot of endurance/patience needs to be applied here. Time to make more spit.
As if we weren’t scared or overwhelmed enough. Yes, more spit, please. It’s rather ugly and painful to face ourselves, our poor decisions and the damages caused from them. There needs to be a steady pace as we face truth by truth, reality by reality. Again, it’s not instantaneous; it’s ongoing like life.
And admitting these realities doesn’t just-poof- happen, either. As we deal with the wreckage of our past, we need to somehow live in the present, in the discomfort, awkwardness and pain of the moment.
And then we ask God to help us change? Deep end of the daunting pool here! Doing the actual hard work of changing habits, behavior and attitudes is not for the squeamish. And up until this pointy, let’s face it, we ARE squeamish. Nevertheless, dealing with more of this unpleasant process requires the further spit of endurance/patience. We’re still not done.
We have to admit we were wrong. We made wrong choices; we lived in a wrong manner. We wronged others; we wronged ourselves. We need forgiveness- and it’s not a sudden reassuring feeling which sweeps over us. It is a process, but it begins with a decision. That decision is not dependent upon or feelings (it’s both the good and the bad news here). Spit here, please.
It just keeps getting more difficult, doesn’t it? Make a list? Seriously? Yep. Again, this is the action, the work, the effort we need to engage in to reach that next level of our ongoing- not instantaneous- healing. Spit, yet again.
We admitted we were powerless over a substance or behavior - that our lives had become unmanageable.
We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
We made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
We continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
“And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope:”
Romans 5:3-4
Copyright © 2024 by Sheryle Cruse
Good Meal Or Bad Meal?
I have mixed feelings about an image making the rounds on social networking sites. It’s a split screen of a hamburger and fries on one side and a salad on the other. It reads as follows:
“One ‘bad’ meal won’t make you fat...Just like one ‘good’ meal won’t make you skinny.”
As a person in eating disorder recovery, my antenna goes up whenever I come across images/messages which portray a kind of “half- truth.” I believe this image is, indeed, one such message. Yes, logically, we know one serving of junk food will not make us weigh 1,000 pounds. Likewise, eating a salad will not transform us into some mythical perfect being. Both are not realistic. But, this statement, while possessing this “half-truth,” still, however, contains its bottom line message: the certain desired image is a thin body.
To me, it smacks of a backhanded compliment. I remember once, when I was twenty-two years old, my younger roommate (age nineteen) once told me, “you’re not that old.”
(Those of you older than twenty-two, please feel free to chuckle here).
But I feel this good meal/bad meal sentiment is like that. It TRIES to make us feel better, to soothe fears, to help. However, the main message still contains a judgment in it, saying, “even if you eat, the worst possible thing in the world (being fat) won’t happen to you.”
It’s the judge-y food equivalent to “The Wizard of Oz” Glinda-to-Dorothy question mark, “Are you a good witch or a bad witch?” But the value placed on thinness and the fear of fat are still there.
It’s complicated, isn’t it? I mean, c’mon, let’s face it, since the beginning, there have been food issues going on. Ever hear of Adam and Eve?
“And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.”
Genesis 3:6
Yeah. It’s about desire; it’s about fulfilled need. It’s about something which “looks good.” But is it? And is it supposed to be that estimation to us?
That’s where much of the issue lies right? We subscribe more value to food than it warrants.
“Is not life more than food?”
Jesus, in Matthew 6:25
In its basic purpose, it keeps us alive. It doesn’t love us, comfort us, punish us or rescue us. It keeps us living.
And, ideally, from the wide variety of choices out there, food is designed to keep us healthy. Vitamins, mineral, nutrients, protein, carbohydrates and fats are a part of that process.
But where do we usually place our focus? On the calories, right? Enter the “good food/bad food” principle. And each one of us has a definition that falls under those headings, right?
Salads and vegetables usually fall under the “good” heading; ice cream and cookies usually comprise the “bad.”
But, while, yes, there are healthy and not so healthy choices out there, food does not have the power we believe it has. It’s a resource, a tool, a vehicle, something to be used for its INTENDED purpose. When it isn’t, however, that’s when eating disorders and unhealthy views/expectations come in, creating chaos and harm.
And we often don’t see it, gradually believing food/diet lies we’ve been exposed to over many years.
“For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice: but what I hate, that I do.”
The Apostle Paul in Romans 7:15
And then, “all of a sudden,” we are astonished because we have issues and/or eating disorders? We don’t understand, exactly, just how we arrived to this place of pain and confusion. But, nevertheless, here we are.
But we miss some major points. First, God created food, for us:
“Who giveth food to all flesh...”
Psalms 136:25
More specifically, God takes care of our needs:
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.
Matthew 6:25-32
God isn’t anti-food; He knows we need it. Food is not a sin to Him. Wrong attitudes, however, are. It’s not because God wants to punish us; He doesn’t want us hurt by lies. And isn’t that what diets, “good and bad foods” are: lies?
So, what’s a more “Godly” view of food? How about the following scriptures?
“All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not.”
1 Corinthians 10:23
“All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.”
“And having food and raiment let us be therewith content.”
1 Timothy 6:8
God’s not hung up on whether or not we eat a candy bar or a salad. He wants us healthy and happy. And He wants us focused on HIM, more than the food of the moment. Yes, that can be a challenge, especially if the food issue has been an all-consuming one in our lives.
But here’s where Psalms 136:25, once again, gives us hope:
“Who giveth food to all flesh: for his mercy endureth forever.”
Did you catch that second part?
“…for his mercy endureth forever.”
We’re not in control; God is. And God is not intimidated with our bodies, our functions and our responses to food. He knows how to handle us. He knows our needs, including our needs for His love, wisdom and mercy in our lives.
Let’s trust that, then, instead of our “good/bad food” thoughts!
Copyright © 2024 by Sheryle Cruse
Cancerventures: The Amazon Link…
Amazon.com: Cancerventures: Tales of a Diagnosed Woman eBook : Cruse, Sheryle: Kindle Store
“Cancerventures: Tales of a Diagnosed Woman” chronicles the breast cancer experience. This book guides the reader through the complexity of decisions, options, emotions, and feelings which surface during the diagnosis and treatment experience, The book stresses how it is, ultimately, up to the individual woman. Through Cruse's personal experiences and observations, the goal is to empower the diagnosed reader to make her own breast cancer decisions, no matter what they are.
