“Un- alived”

There seems to be a trend in which social media is squeamish about certain words, upsetting words, like “Suicide” or “killing themselves.”

Substitution for these words and phrases, therefore, results in a commonly used word, “Un-alived.”

Perhaps, because of this squeamishness, the real gravity of real issues and problems can tend to be minimized. We may take more comfort in the softer language.

Instead of “dying,” “passing away” is employed. It can be viewed as a compassionate choice of words.

Compassion is one thing. But if the intention is to deflect from brutal reality, there can be great harm then, in refusing to call a thing a thing.

I’ve been thinking about the harm represented in the word, “un-alived.” It’s a newer buzzword often used in such forums as YouTube. Failure to use this word, replacing “suicide” or “killing themselves” can even result in demonetizing a YouTube channel, or removing the channel completely. Censorship has often been a cry from certain camps concerning this reality. But I think there can be additional toxic impact. Shying away from some words and phrases, pressured into only referring to them as “un-alived,” can be harmful for those of us who are pushed to the brink with abusive individuals.

If “un-alived” refers to being killed, but replaces the word of “suicide,” what does that look like?

It can go deeper. It can be comprehensive harm.

Un- alive the Body.

First, there is the body.

And it’s not just about the immediately killing of that body.

It’s a slow death. Gradual. A cumulative dying experience.

It influences the body of a person.

Stress and trauma responses, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, addictions, and all manner of high-risk behaviors can put the human body at risk.

In these instances, the word, “un-alive” can refer to the harmful decision-making and application of a passive kind of suicide. It’s a response of giving up, more and more. It incorporates a substance or a behavior to make that happen… and to kill the body.

How many times have we heard things like, “The bottle killed him,” or “She had a death wish?”

Or how about, “It’s like they lost the will to live?”

The body is affected by that. Poisoning oneself, overdosing, starving, neglecting, or abusing oneself all take a toll on “un-aliving” the body.

On killing the body.

Refusal to acknowledge the violent reality of the killed body can minimize how toxic and brutal life experiences can create permanent results: death.

“Un-alived” can sound softer and more reassuring than “dead” or killed.”

But that has been what has happened here. Abuse, trauma, loss, and mental illness, untreated and unsupported, lead to the severity of death.

But it’s more than that.

On the way to that sad body-death destination, other things in us also get killed as well.

Un-alive the Soul.

More than just the body can get killed. How about the soul?

A definition of the soul? Mind. Will. Emotions.

Here’s where mental and emotional abuse come into the picture for many of us. There’s nothing quite like mental and emotional abuse to make you want to die.

Also known as “un-aliving” the soul.

When we get drained, our minds, our sense of personal will, and our emotions take a detrimental hit. We feel taxed, overloaded, confused, and distracted.

We feel like we’re dying.

Un- alive a life.

And that state does not lead to a productive road towards our dreams and goals.

Now we’re in a downward spiral. We feel we are stuck and cannot get out.

Things feel like they’re dying. And that soon translates into us feeling like we are dying.

“Un-alived.”

How many sad, cautionary tales, horror stories, and biographies have noted the same powerful lesson?

They didn’t get to live their lives.

And they certainly didn’t get to tell their stories.

Silenced. Invalidated.

Being abused can kill the body, the soul, and the life that is “un-lived.”

Whether by disease or actual suicide, a person can lose all sense of their life, their meaningful life.

It’s usually a process spanning decades. Little by little, just a person giving up and dying.

Using the word, “un-lived” doesn’t change or minimize that.

Radical acceptance can be the first step to changing the unnecessary killing.

It’s not easy. It’s not pleasant.

But calling a killing a killing, and not the softer “un-alived” situation can be a start to better mental health, to better lives.

Let’s stop minimizing. It is death.

Call a thing a thing.

This thing takes a serious toll on a person’s life.

Copyright © 2024 by Sheryle Cruse