A Wall or a Door?

“Walls keep everybody out. Boundaries teach people where the door is.”

Mark Groves

Walls: All or Nothing?

It’s unsafe; we feel unsafe. Probably, because we are subject to unsafety.

Lack and scarcity. Abusive dynamics normalized. Rejection, and an absence of healthy love.

No discernment. Permissiveness. Behavior.

Part of that includes silence and secrecy.

We are starving. So, we take any crumbs offered.

That promotes abuse and unhealthy behavior.

Walls can be an extreme barrier.

Yes, walls can keep everyone out. And they do. But unfortunately, in our abusive personal history, walls can also keep everyone IN. 

We can be trapped WITH them. All or nothing.

Distorted, warped, unhealthy.

Walls, so…

Keep out!

Or…

Let someone in.

(Someone harmful, dangerous, toxic, unhealthy, etc.)

We need a door for that.

Doors: Boundaries are the Doorknob.

Now, we are at the hard work of boundaries.

Access. Entrance. Intimacy. Behavior.

And one more thing… Requirement.

That involves teaching.

It’s not about unearned unconditional love. We require more.

Discretion. Self-respect. Self-knowledge.

We know who we are. We know what is and is not a dealbreaker.

Copyright © 2024 by Sheryle Cruse